Let’s have a talk about ECT
There was this neighbor kid my overprotective parents had over to play with me as a child, I was between the ages if 3-7. He was 5 or six years older. My earliest memories are of sucking his dick and being forced to make out with him along with being punished by my parents for watching Star Wars at my actually age-appropriate friends place. I asked them to put it on, my parents never let me hang out with them again because they were a bad influence. Life is satire
Before we go further in this topic, I want to say I have no anger or resentment at all to the kid that molested me. I used to. I eventually learned unprocessed trauma leads to acting out those same traumas sometimes in the same manner, sometimes others. What I realized was, yeah he was older than me, but like 9 to 12 or so when he was doing that to me. What he did to me wasn’t okay by any means, but he learned that from somewhere. It’s my assumption he went through far greater sexual abuse for a much longer time. I feel sorry for him, and I harbor no negativity towards him.
THAT SAID, my parents and teachers misdiagnosing my PTSD as ADHD and puting me on amphetamines at age six (I think, or 7… hard to put years with things in my childhood due to the affects of Ritalin on my prepubescent brain) and continually increasing the dose as my behavior and acting out worsened as I was sleeping max 3 hours a night a that never took 10 seconds to question if maybe they were wrong I still have a lot of anger towards.
My parents less, I realize they thought they were doing the right thing, they thought they knew things. That is human, normal, and usually never true.
I don’t like pride, yet I do pride myself strongly on one thing: my ability to admit I don’t know what’s right, I think I have some ideas that are solid but I may be absolutely wrong on them and if I am I do my best to alter them. We are all works in process. You only really suck if you act like you know what youre doing. No one does, and eventually the best actors fail at keeping up the act so why bother when all it causes is problems. Cosby.